Monday, February 21, 2011

Du du du du du du du du dduuuuu (That’s the theme tune to the Apprentice)

Lord Sugar (I preferred Sir Alan)

I was really looking forward to interviewing my servants (I don’t like to call them that by the way). I planned to hire out a room in the business centre in our hotel, wear my fake glasses and don my new suit (which is currently being tailored at a local suit shop specifically for this purpose). It would have been just like The Apprentice but with me playing the part of Alan Sugar (naturally). Well we found out today that our beautiful apartment actually comes with a cleaner and a handy man! Most people would be happy about this but I am extremely disappointed. But all hope is not lost; Paul said I could be in charge of trying out potential drivers. Now I take my duty as driver vetter very seriously so have developed a list of criteria they must fulfil. I have even typed it up, printed a few copies out and purchased a clip board- just like a real driving instructor.  Its simple the candidate/ driver with the most points is hired! Maybe I will get my Alan Sugar moment after all.
My criteria is as follows:

  •   Must not ‘beep’ the horn more than 10 times in a 20 minute period. This will be extremely hard for a Mumbai driver as they deem pressing their horn as necessary as starting the engine so I’m awarding this – 30 points
  • Must speak at least a little English- 20 points
  • Greet me with ‘Madame’, ‘Madam’, ‘Mrs’ or something like that – 20 points
  • Must know there way around- 20 points
  • Open the car door for me- wow I’d love that 100 points!! Ok no 30 points
  • Take me to a cheap furniture shop as I’m struggling to find one – 10 points
  • Not crash- 10 points, actually Paul said this one is important- 30 points
  •  Finally – Be nice – 10 points
And there you have it! This will be so much fun, I’ll let you know how it goes
I might interview my cook Masterchef stylee!
Don’t judge me, I don’t have a job!!
A good driver, working 6 days a week, 10 hours a day, who speaks English shouldn’t cost you more than around 10’000 rupees (140.00) per month

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