Thursday, April 28, 2011

Need Any Overtime Ramesh???

Me, Chad and The Shapeshifters no less!!
(and in size order!!)
A ride in an un-air-conditioned, battered, black and yellow taxi never fails to disappoint and Saturday night was no exception. Being the good bosses we are, we rarely ask Ramesh, our driver to work evenings, so it was up to us to find our own way to the Blue Frog Club in Lower Parel. We tried for a good twenty minutes to flag down a Cool Cab outside our flat, God dammit, I even made my way over to the scene of my parking space protest to see if I could find the ginger henna haired Cool Cab driver, but there was no sign, we were forced to bite the bullet. I knew the journey was going to be uncomfortable as the driver looked around one-hundred and one years old and should have surrendered his licence years ago. He started the engine and off we went, it took us fifteen minutes to go two-hundred yards, for no other reason than that he was driving so slow! ‘Fata fat, Fata fat,’ (I’m not sure if this correct spelling but this is how it sounded) Paul kept on shouting from the back seat ‘What the hell does that mean?’ I asked, ‘Faster- Fata fat’ he replied. As I was slowly starting to melt in style of The Wicked Witch of the West, I had no choice but to join in ‘Fata fat, fata fat’, not one to be left out Paul’s friend Chad also joined in ‘Fata fat, fata fat’!
After wailing ‘Fata fat’ like a bunch of screaming banshees for at least three minutes, the driver suddenly clocked on to what we meant and changed to third gear, we were on our way, kind of! Although it took thirty minutes longer than it should have, we finally arrived in Lower Parel, but the taxi driver didn’t have a clue where Blue Frog was (surprise, surprise). As he continued driving we told him to keep left, frantically tapping on the left hand window so he could better understand, to avoid him going over the ‘fly over of no return’ (as in its at least thirty minutes before you can turn back around). He ignored us and carried on over the fly over, now in fourth gear! We all shouted ‘STOP’!! But it was too late; he was well on his way! Two minutes later, probably sensing our anger, he decided to do the unthinkable and reverse back down the busy fly over, ‘What are you doing?’ ‘Please don’t’ we pleaded, but he didn’t listen, he carried on reversing! We then realised that he didn’t have his light on, cars were beeping and you could hear the sound of screeching breaks! Panic-stricken we tried to tell him to put his lights on and continue forwards but he couldn’t understand and just carried on reversing, thinking he was doing us a favour! And then, the moment when I saw my life flash in front of my eyes… a large water truck was heading towards us and we were heading directly towards it, ‘Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, we’re gona die!!!!!!’ I screamed, we all screamed! Was this it? Was this how we were going to die????? No. The water truck swerved to avoid us and the taxi driver, by some miracle, managed to get us off the fly over, although extremely sweaty, un-scathed. Phew! After asking for directions, we eventually arrived at Mathuradas Mills Compound, I still wasn’t sure if this was the correct place as it looked like post war Bosnia, rubbish, rubble and dust was everywhere, but I didn’t care, I needed to be out that car and on solid ground! We carried on through the dark, dusty estate until we started to see people, trendy people, bouncers, pretty fairy lights, bars and Blue Frog! We had made it- alive!!! I was so excited to have a drink and a dance to ‘ShapeShifters’ of Lola’s Theme fame, as they were playing there that night. We paid our 700 rupees each entry fee and were escorted to the table we had reserved. It was a really cool place, the tables were more like cocoons and it had a very pleasant vibe. Full of foreigners, it was a welcome change to other places we have been, although I think this was because a British act was playing. We had a great night dancing and drinking with friends!
I think we will be offering Ramesh overtime next week!
Vodka and lemonade you say???
Check out my tan!
Vodka and unlimited mixers 5000 INR!
Its not called Blue Frog for nothing!!

Blue Frog Mathuradas Mills Compound, NM Joshi Marg, Lower Parel, Opposite, Kamala Mills Compound, Entrance From Tulsi Pipe Rd, Mumbai, Maharashtra 400013, tel: 022 40332300


  1. Next time call the private and efficient Meru cabs:-

    44 22 44 22

    And what's to get so excited about reversing downhill a flyover at 60 kms./hr. regardless of the climbing traffic?
    People here do it all the time! :-P

    (The brake lights are not a necessary feature, either! ;-) )

  2. Yes, someone else has informed me of these cabs since writing this post! Amazing! Thank you
    As for the reversing, OMG! Scarrrrry!!

  3. i love dat "fata-fat" part!!! hilarious!!!

  4. hilarious ..hyena laughs...;-))..
    in apreciation of this hilarious tale..could almost imagine it seeing by my own eyes..


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