Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Kill Me, Kill Me Now!

I’d been putting it off for two days now, but I couldn’t wait any longer. I entered the Pharmacy and spoke to the first person I saw behind the counter, typically he and everyone else who worked there were male. ‘Have you got any cream for hemorrhoids?’ I whispered in the quietest voice in the world ever. ‘What Madam?’ he replied ‘Hemorrhoids, cream for hemorrhoids?’ I replied slightly louder. ‘Hair shampoo’ he responded, ‘No, hemorrhoids, or, errr, piles, cream for piles’ I said getting slightly agitated. ‘Blah, bah, blah, PILES, blah, blah’ (the blah, blahs being Hindi words I couldn’t understand) he shouted to his colleague at the opposite side the shop. ‘Blah, blah, blah, PILES, blah, blah PILES’ His friend shouted back. ‘PILES blah, PILES blah’ the shop and it's dog started shouting. Just wishing the world would swallow me up whole, four men then started grabbling the shelves and presenting me with different tablets and creams for my newfound ailment. I chose the one nearest my hand ‘This is fine, fine, how much’ I hurried ’33 rupees Maaaam’ ’33 rupees?’ I double-checked ‘Yes Maam'. I left the shop more embarrassed than I have ever been in my life with a tube of cream that cost me 17 p! I don’t hold out much hope.

10 comments:

  1. I am wishing you the best of luck as your heal!! With all these new "adventures" you have been on, I am certainly looking forward to my adjustments in India (and the fantastic blog posts) - I have been staying at 5 star hotels with visits to multi-million-dollar shoppings malls as my dating excursions with my man - not quite the India anyone would expect. When I move temporarily into my fiance's home after we marry, I get to enjoy the bucket shower as well. I am quite pleased I was the first to introduce him to a shower that has continuous hot water, and comes down above your head at my hotels. He was fascinated but has zero tolerance for too hot... so luke warm showers it was. I am logging an aquafina bucket shower into my emergency back up plans just incase they lose water like they frequently lose electricity at his place.
    Speedy Healing for you - and as you fly to Britian soon - hope your seat is comfortable!

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  2. Ha ha thank you Kelly, thats really nice.
    Wow you have have been living the life! I have a feeling you will adjust to Idia well and you already have a head start! Can't wait to read your blog once you are here!
    Just packing up my stuff now and a soft cushion for my seat is in my hand luggage!! x

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  3. Even though it may be TMI (too much information) for some readers, I will share this though. At this point, while healing from said pain in the ass, remember that what goes in must come out. Keep away from fried foods and excessive alcohol until you feel some relief. Increase your fruit and water… as in this case, an ounce of prevention is worth is more than a pound of cure. Fiber and water will keep your pipes flowing and hopefully won't cause further discomfort! lol! I feel your pain… been there done that and came home with the tshirt! (wow, this post has way too many cliches in it! LOL)

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  4. Andrea LOVE IT and thank you, although my 17p cream seems to be doing a job!! XX

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  5. sorry to hear that sophie. good luck with the healing. All this suffering
    because of a spiritual retreat. Gives a whole new meaning to the word "Holy
    #@$%" now doesn't it! sorry couldn't resist :)

    But thanks for the tip!....time to get that really really really soft cushion for my retreat!

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  6. Come back already!!! I miss you!!! Hope you are well, by the way....

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  7. I know this is TMI but it helps me, when my hemorrhoids act up. 1. Try sitting on ice pack for while but remember to put towel on top of it so you don't freeze you bum,it dose help little bit, next when it comes to sitting down try now to sit on any thing that is to hard for long amount of time, also try to take in extra fiber this helps as well, I know it might be hard over in India but wet wipes help to. I hope that this helps you out little.

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  8. Thanks guys, who knew hemmorids was such a common problem! ha x

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  9. What's a haemerroid ?

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  10. If u don't know what they are, then count yourself lucky!! Ha x

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