Monday, February 27, 2012

With a Little Bit of This and a Little Bit of That....

'Ding, ding' Round two!!
We all know that Crows and Pigeons are an annoying reality of city life, but most of us will not let them bother us and we get on with our everyday lives as normal- not Paul!
Whilst watching Sex In The City from the comfort of my giant size bed, I had noticed that Paul had been an exceedingly long time in the bathroom . When he finally did surface he had a very suspicious look on his face; knowing he had been up to something untoward (and not the two things you guys are thinking of) I decided that I was more interested in what shoes Carrie had on than interrogating him about his twenty minutes in the bathroom, so gave him the obligatory ‘I know you have been up to something' look and continued with my viewing. Five minutes later there was a knock at the door. ‘You get it Soph’ Paul said ‘It’s 10.30 at night, you get it’ I replied, ‘Go on you are closer!’ In a huff I got up and went to the door and took a sneaky peek through the peephole. It was the Police and worse still they had moustaches!! 
I opened the door slightly (a tip I got from ITV’s prime time drama ‘The Bill’) and said ‘Hello officers can I help you’ ‘ Leak, from this house, leak, leak!’ they shouted. ‘No sorry sirs, no leak, wrong house’ I replied, ‘ Yes leak, yes leak, water leak’ they replied whilst trying to get their heads behind my carefully guarded, slightly ajar door. ‘No leak’ I replied, ‘Where is sir, where is he, leak, leak!!’ they continued. As I could sense they were getting more and more agitated and could see they both had massive truncheons (no, no, actual truncheons you perverts!)  I said ‘sir’ was not in. The officer then said ‘No leaks again!’ hit the door and left.

Totally and utterly confused about the conversation I had just had with two very disgruntled officers of the law regarding a mere water leak from our house when most houses in Mumbai leak boulders and bricks, I returned to the bed where I found a certain Mr. H hiding under the duvet! It was all starting to make sense ‘Tell me what you were doing in the bathroom….’ I demanded.
Basically Paul had been having a whale of a time spraying water from the bum washer hose at the crows and pigeons in an attempt to deter them from sitting on our window ledge, but had been oblivious to the fact that as well as birds he had also been soaking the cool cab drivers, police officers, food vendors, shop keepers and all the other people that call home to the pavement below.
Needless to say he won’t be doing that again!


  1. "It was the police, and worse still they had mustaches!" Hahahaha! Soph, you are awesome! (Psst, I might be living in Mumbai by August. Not sure yet, will keep ya posted!)


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