Looks like Julie is more concerned
about catching something from Ramesh!
I walked outside the other day to find Ramesh patting a stray dog, ‘Eww Ramesh! Don’t touch that dog, its probably got dog aids’ I said in disgust. ‘No, maaam, Julie good.’ Slightly confused that Ramesh had just said the extremely English name Julie in the same conversation about a dog with aids, I replied ‘No Ramesh the dog, the dog is not clean,’ ‘Julie is very clean’ he grunted, obviously offended that I would think for even a minute that a dog who lives on the dirty streets of Mumbai would be unclean. ‘So the dog is called Julie?’ I tried to confirm, ‘Yes maaam, Julie’ he replied encouraging the other people who hang around outside our house to back him up, who then all started wobbling their heads whilst saying the word ‘Julie’. There was now absolutely no doubt whatsoever in my mind that this dog was named Julie. But why Julie? I thought, so I asked ‘Why Julie Ramesh?’ ‘Sorry maam’ (this means he doesn’t understand me) so I took it to the floor ‘Why is the dog called Julie?’ ‘Anyone?’ blank faces all round. Maybe they didn’t understand my accent, so I continued…‘Why… is… the… dog… called….’ ‘Fuck it, I got in the car and got on with my life.